Anthony came to stay with us for the weekend and we had a few days together, with him getting to know his brothers and sisters. I was very heart-warming. The whole family was here on Sunday and we cooked up and enjoyed the time together. He met his grandmother and a couple of uncles, got to meet his nephews and brothers-in-law.
It felt so nice to have the family all together. Of course it brings up lots of emotions about what I missed out on with him, and what he missed out on himself. Life can only be better from here on though, and our future holidays will always include him.
Last night I started a course for work and had to introduce myself and started off by saying I had 5 children, who ranged in age from 30 to 12. It's lovely to say that I have 5 children. I had 5 babies, but only ever had 4 of those children, and although Anthony is not a child, he's still my child. Every time we see each other or just talk, those feelings are reinforced. Moreso than with the other kids who I've always taken for granted.
I have less than a year now to give up smoking, I promised the kids I'd give up before I turn 50. The count-down has begun.