Fully Sick

A new law which came into force on New Year’s Day in Nigeria forcing motorcyclists to wear helmets has seen an increase in an improvised helmet: dried pumpkin shells, or calabashes.

Road safety officials said calabash-wearers would be prosecuted. Stories have also appeared in the local papers highlighting passengers’ fears that the helmets could be used by motorcyclists to cast spells on their clients, making it easy for them to be robbed.

“Some people can put juju inside the helmets and when they are worn the victim can either lose consciousness or be struck dumb,” passenger Kolawole Aremu told the Daily Trust newspaper.

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It’s hot in Cairns and that could explain the bizarre behaviour of a thief who broke into an adult shop, had sex with a blow-up doll, then dumped the used plastic in the rear lane. The store manager said that the offender had a liking for the doll model named “Jungle Jane”, which had been taken on a couple of occasions.

Police have DNA samples, fingerprints and pictures of the crime scene. The guy was either on heat or it had affected his brain.

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My wish for Christmas was to have a special angel come and visit me. It’s New Year now, and I’m still waiting. I can wish….

Happy New Year to all.

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We were all warned when we were kids… Did we listen? Do not swallow bubblegum!

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This is something I wouldn’t have thought of to use as a sex aid, but a man caught in a no-go zone at Queensland’s Nobby Beach, thought otherwise,as reported on News.com.au :

A man caught by police with his penis submerged in a pasta sauce jar was still pleasuring himself while resisting arrest.

He took off when police tried to question him and even continued his pasta sauce dipping as police tried to wrestle the jar from him. This story is just too sick! The guy ended up with a $600 fine and his name spashed all over the internet. What a loser.

It reminds me of the story I was told about a dill pickle that sat in the jar in the fridge for a long time, and when a flat-mate went to eat it, the woman was hysterical, telling him no, you don’t know where that’s been!

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Who would have thought that the lovable little Australian Wallaby could cause so much mayhem?

According to reports in Townsville today, wild wallabies are terrorising a retirement village, knocking over residents and defecating on lawns and patios.

Residents at Carlyle Gardens are said to be too afraid to leave their homes when the 100-strong mob runs amok in the early mornings and late afternoons.

The wallabies are crashing into cars, scooters and even elderly residents. Large male wallabies, over a metre tall and weighing up to 30kg, are fighting, falling against the side of homes and damaging walls.

I certainly wouldn’t like to be bowled over by one.

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