Fully Sick

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've been such a good man, and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said "Yeah, that's me...."

God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of women? " God said, "Ah, yes, I am."

"Well ," said Arthur, "professional to professional, You have some major design flaws in Your Invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion,
   
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds,
   
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much,
   
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust,
   
5. . . And the maintenance costs are Outrageous!!

"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "Hold on while I check the data." God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words, and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and
God read it.

"Well, it may be true that My invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding MY invention than yours."

Posted to Funny at 1:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0) |

Residents of Tainan learned a lesson in whale biology after the decomposing remains of a 60-ton sperm whale exploded on a busy street, showering nearby cars and shops with blood and organs and stopping traffic for hours.

The 56-foot-long whale had been on a truck headed for a necropsy by researchers, when gases from internal decay caused its entrails to explode in the southern city of Tainan.

Once moved to a nearby nature preserve, the male specimen — the largest whale ever recorded in Taiwan — drew the attention of locals because of its large penis, measured at some five feet, the Taipei Times reported.

“More than 100 Tainan city residents, mostly men, have reportedly gone to see the corpse to ‘experience’ the size of its penis,” the newspaper reported

Posted to Newsworthy at 2:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0) |

What, you hate the way you look and want to be totally outrageous, or you're in to the shock value, or you need somewhere to stash your phone and beer: no pockets!

Posted to Tattoos at 9:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0) |