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Who would have thought! Throughout the ages there's been body piercings. We've seen a resurgence in nose, tongue, belly button and eyebrow piercings. It seems the latest craze is to get a piercing for your car. There's even a website called www.pierceyourride.com.
And as one commenter pointed out: it can even get infected. Drilling into your chrome causes rust!
You'd start out dead and get it out of the way. Then, wake up in an old peoples home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready to start school.
You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then.......... you spend the last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, you finish off as an orgasm.
Hello, is this the police?"
Yes it is. How can we help you?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbour, Rangi. He's hiding cocaine inside his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call."
Early next morning, police officers descend on Rangi's house in great numbers. They search the house and then go out to the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of firewood but they find no cocaine. They swear at Rangi and leave.
The phone rings at Rangi's house.
"Hey, Rangi, Did the cops come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop up your firewood?"
"Yeah."
"Happy Birthday bro!"
and as seen elsewhere....
The phone rings at FBI headquarters.
"Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.
The phone rings at the neighbors house.
Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?"
"Yep."
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
How would you feel if you went missing for seven years but nobody missed you? That's pretty sad, and doesn't say much for the friends and family of the decomposed corpse of a German man who was found alone in his bed after nearly seven years.
The police said in a statement the man was 59 and unemployed at the time of his death. He most likely died of natural causes on November 30, 2000, the date he received a letter from the Welfare Office found in the apartment . Next to the dead man's bed police found cigarettes, an open television guide and Deutschemark coins, which came out of circulation after the euro was introduced in 2002. The man's apartment was in a building with offices and apartments, many of which are now empty.
"No one missed him. No missing person report was ever filed," the police said.
This puts a whole new twist on frog mouth...
And whooa... get a gander at the size of this frog...
Here's a novel way to stop those weiners burning on the BBQ. They make a great talking point too.
