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Now you can't tell me that wouldn't hurt. I came across a site tonight with some pictures of very extreme body piercings, branding, scarification and implants. Made me feel very queasy. I have a couple of tattoos and piercings, but nothing extreme. If you love the pictures on here, you'll love Life in the Fast Lane.
The 10th Annual New York City Tattoo Convention at the Roseland Ballroom was held in March this year. Tattoo aficionados came from all over to admire tattoos, have their tattoos judged and even get tattooed at the convention.
Who needs face paint when you can have a tattoo like this one?
Thanks to a fascinating new technique you can cover yourself in body art and no one will be the wiser – unless they see you in the dark, which is the only time these tattoos are visible. The new technique uses blacklight reactive ink, which is reactive to UV light. This does look pretty cool, and it's a good idea for giving new life to old tattoos.
Tattoo artist Richie of Electric Soul Tattoo uses a special blacklight-reactive ink for these tattoos.
I think I prefer monkeys to cats, and I'm no cat lover, but would you really want to wear these for the rest of your life? I'm sure the cat guy just wanted to hide an awful-looking belly button.
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!
ST. MUMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mum's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.
And when all else fails, and life just blows....
So Pavarotti knocks on the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter opens them and says "Oh it's you Luciano, come on in. Can you squeeze through?"
Pavarotti says, "Hold on, I've got an envelope for you, it's from the Pope."
So Saint Peter opens it up and reads it.
'HERE'S THAT TENOR I OWE YOU'
This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask? 'Because you are my friend'.
Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
I need a favour please!!
My neighbour has a puppy he's giving away (FREE!).
It's a Dachshund, its house broken, and it's great with kids.
He's giving it away because his wife says the dog 'stares' at her when she is undressing, and that gives her the 'Heebie Jeebies'.
I think she is just weird!
If you're interested, or know someone who is, let me know.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day...
While they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news, she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news." The good news is you're being discharged since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him... I am so sorry,... but he's dead."
Edna replied... "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
"How soon can I go home?"